Alyssa “Ally” Dee, a 28-year-old woman, quit her job to become a traditional or “trad” wife. She cooks and cleans for her husband, Tom, who pays her around $100 a week. Despite criticisms from feminists who accuse her of just wanting a sugar daddy, Dee believes that this dynamic has improved her life and relationship. Encouraging other women to pursue a similar lifestyle, she has documented her trad wife-style to her YouTube subscribers.
Dee and Tom met in the military and started dating while she was still working and studying. After getting engaged, Dee felt that her husband wanted more attention to the home and to himself, so she suggested staying at home. Tom, initially hesitant due to his desire for an independent physicist triathlete, eventually agreed to try a 1950s-style romantic arrangement. Under this agreement, Dee is paid around $100 a week to spend on snacks, coffee, and shopping, which Tom monitors closely.
Tom is thrilled with the traditional dynamic in their relationship, feeling that it allows them both to live a more focused and stress-free life. Seeking a clean house and support in return for providing a home, protection, and provision, he is grateful for this arrangement. Dee is also happy with her decision to quit her job, stating that she now earns more, is financially secure, and gets to work remotely for her husband. She believes this is a better alternative to a regular nine-to-five job where she claims the boss does not care about the employees.
Dee’s career change has made her a target for feminists who have called her lazy and a gold digger disguised as a trad wife. However, she receives plenty of positive feedback from women who feel seen and understood by her lifestyle choice. Tom has defended Dee against the gold digger accusations, emphasizing that her request for $100 a week does not align with that stereotype. Dee ultimately wants women to understand that they have different options available to them in relationships that could lead to greater happiness than the modern dynamic.
Trad wives like Alyssa Dee and Gretchen Adler view their lifestyle as a respite from the woke ideology that they believe has overtaken Western society. Adler, a 38-year-old homemaker from California, explained that many women are seeking a way out of the fast-paced job environment and “boss babe” mentality to return to their homes. Traditional gender roles and dynamics in relationships provide them with a sense of balance and contentment that they feel is lacking in modern relationships. Ultimately, these women believe that the traditional lifestyle offers them a happier and more fulfilling way of living.
