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Ashlyn Harris opened up about struggling with Adderall addiction while attending the University of North Carolina.
“I was getting really heavily addicted to Adderall and misusing it,” Harris, 39, recalled on a recent episode of the “Question Everything With Danielle Robay” podcast. “I loved to party. I loved being out. I was just taking it all the time. I would go days without sleeping. It was wild.”
She added, “I felt like I was gonna give myself a heart attack. I was crushing it. I was snorting it. It was so problematic.”
As she continued taking the drug, which is used to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), she realized it was having other effects as well.
“Then I was like, ‘Oh, it makes me skinny. It curbs my appetite,’” the retired soccer player remembered. “It was just a toxic, toxic time for me because it was the first time that I started to have my character tested because I started to get injured.”
Harris credited her college coach, Anson Dorrance, with helping her make a change.
“It got really, really dark, and I had to make some serious adjustments,” she explained. “And Anson would have me read books. I started reading this book called [Man’s Search] for Meaning, and it’s about suffering and reframing it — and it changed my life.”
After graduating from UNC in 2009, Harris went on to play soccer professionally for teams including the Washington Spirit, Orlando Pride and NJ/NY Gotham FC. She announced her retirement from the sport in November 2022.
Elsewhere in the podcast, Harris opened up about her relationship with Sophia Bush and her split from ex-wife Ali Krieger. Harris and Krieger, 40, tied the knot in 2019 and later adopted kids Sloane and Ocean. After their 2023 split, Harris moved on with Bush, 42, while Krieger is now dating Jen Beattie.
“I think it comes to a point where you are at the end of the rope,” Harris said of the period before her divorce. “And you either put it around your neck or you drop it. That’s where I was.”
When host Danielle Robay asked whether Harris was really “that unhappy,” the former goalkeeper replied, “I was miserable. I wanted more for myself and I wanted more for my children on what their expectation of love is.”
She continued, “How am I gonna try to teach my 4-year-old daughter about being, like, strong and independent and loving her body and her inner self and her inner worth and all these things when I f***ing hated myself?”
Harris made similar comments last month during an interview on Rachel Bilson’s “Broad Ideas” podcast, explaining that she’s still grieving her relationship with Krieger.
“I will have that conversation with my children, eventually, and let them know happy people don’t leave happy marriages. They just don’t,” Harris said at the time. “You don’t just wake up all of a sudden one morning and say, ‘Well, this is the day, I’m over it.’ There is a process and there is a grieving component of thinking about this, but it’s a very, very scary decision.”
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, contact the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline at 1-800-662-HELP (4357).
