High achievers at work often have high standards, but it is important to differentiate between high standards and unrealistic expectations. While high standards might include expecting to be treated with respect, unrealistic expectations involve expecting others to read your mind or know how you are feeling. These unrealistic expectations can lead to stress, demand instant success, and interfere with pursuing important goals. Clinical psychologist Miranda Morris notes that having unrealistic expectations is a common part of the human experience.
Unrealistic expectations can stem from social pressures, comparisons, or idealized notions of success. They can promise instant gratification or perfection, which can be enticing. However, holding on to these unattainable goals can have negative impacts on overall well-being, including burnout, emotional distress, fear of failure, and relationship strain. Clinical psychologist Selena C. Snow emphasizes that unrealistic expectations can be damaging as they set individuals and others up for failure, leading to false conclusions and unhelpful behaviors.
Understanding motivation theory and human behavior can help in recognizing and addressing unrealistic expectations. Two types of motivation— intrinsic and extrinsic—play a role in shaping expectations. Various motivational theories, such as instinct, drive, arousal, humanistic, incentive, and expectancy theories, explain how people become motivated. Factors like environment, past experiences, and physiological state also influence motivation. Overcoming unrealistic expectations requires self-reflection, progress over perfection mindset, compassion, and acceptance of imperfections.
Recognizing and challenging unrealistic expectations is crucial for maintaining mental well-being. Techniques like self-reflection, focusing on progress rather than perfection, cultivating compassion, and avoiding holding oneself to unrealistic standards are helpful in overcoming these expectations. Clinical psychologist Selena C. Snow suggests treating oneself with the same level of compassion and understanding that one would offer to a friend or family member. Overcoming unrealistic expectations can lead to alleviating pressure and self-doubt, allowing individuals to take action and pursue personal growth. Heather Cherry, a copywriter, journalist, and health coach, emphasizes the importance of addressing and overcoming unrealistic expectations to lead a fulfilling and balanced life.
