Summarize this content to 2000 words in 6 paragraphs A woman and her sisters are reeling after discovering their “impulsive” widowed mother’s whirlwind engagement after an introductory family dinner with a man they barely knew.The 23-year-old woman described on Reddit this week how her 60-year-old mom, a known “people-pleaser” with a history of hasty choices, had kept her new relationship a secret.Secret LoveOnly after pressure from one of the daughters did she reluctantly reveal that she was engaged—just one month after meeting her new partner.For the three sisters, the problem wasn’t that their mother had found love again after their father’s passing three years ago.It was the pattern of secretive behavior and rash decisions, combined with her unwillingness to take responsibility for the consequences of those choices.
Stock image: Daughter and mother upset.
Stock image: Daughter and mother upset.
Stock photo/Getty Images
The original poster (OP) nikkynoonoo described past incidents where their mom rented out her apartment for below-market rates out of sympathy, ignored advice about getting a property inspection before purchasing a home and even secretly moved overseas, only to return months later admitting it had been a mistake.”We have no issues with our mum dating a new guy,” the OP wrote, “But our issue is that he’s a total stranger to us, and even her, considering they’ve dated/known each other for just over a month.”Dealing With Impulsive ParentsThe emotional turmoil described in the Reddit post is not uncommon for adult children of parents who struggle with impulse control.Daughterhood.org explains that many adult children feel powerless when parents consistently make reckless choices yet refuse to acknowledge the impact on their loved ones.Experts suggest that rather than trying to control the parent’s actions, it may be more effective to step back and set emotional boundaries to avoid being drawn into the fallout.Similarly, Discovery Village advises that while adult children should offer guidance, they must also recognize that their parents have the right to make their own mistakes—even when those mistakes may have serious consequences.The challenge comes in knowing when to step in and when to let go.
Reactions to the Reddit post were mixed, with some users expressing sympathy while others suggested the sisters should let their mother live her life.”I don’t think you’re wrong to have concerns, given what you know about your mother and the fact that it’s only been a month,” one user commented.”I’d try to find out as much as you can about who this guy is and why things are moving so fast.”‘Mind your business’Others urged the sisters to stop trying to change their mother.”Stop trying to make your mom someone she’s not,” another user advised, adding, “If she’s not going to put the effort in, save your energy and put it into yourself and the people who reciprocate.”Another commentator suggested that the sisters step back emotionally: “Your mom is an adult. Mind your business,” they wrote.”Unless it involves you financially, or you think this guy is going to completely drain her, then just let her go.”
However, the OP pushed back against this viewpoint, arguing that it wasn’t about controlling their mother’s decisions, but about her ongoing lack of transparency.”It’s the lying and disrespect that hurts the most,” she explained.”We’ve had multiple conversations about being open and honest, but she still keeps major decisions from us until it’s too late.”Newsweek has contacted nikkynoonoo for comment via Reddit.Newsweek’s “What Should I Do?” offers expert advice to readers. If you have a personal dilemma, let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice on relationships, family, friends, money and work, and your story could be featured on WSID at Newsweek.To read how Newsweek uses AI as a newsroom tool, click here.
