Sexless marriages are more common than most people realize, with many long-term couples experiencing a period of reduced sexual activity at some point in their relationship. Factors such as stress, medication, having children, and health issues can contribute to a decrease in libido, leading to feelings of loneliness and rejection. For those who value physical intimacy, being in a sexless relationship can be distressing and leave them feeling disconnected from their partner. Sex therapist Shannon Chavez emphasizes the importance of normalizing ebbs and flows in sexual desire to reduce the taboo surrounding dry spells.
Real couples who have gone through a sexless period in their relationship share their experiences and offer insights into what caused the disconnect, how it made them feel, and how they were able to rekindle their intimate connection. One individual, Neil, describes how a difficult pregnancy and a colicky baby led to a lack of intimacy in his marriage. After years of frustration and avoidance, he and his wife decided to schedule sex, which ultimately helped them communicate better and rekindle their physical relationship.
Another individual, Susan, struggled with a dead sex life in her marriage due to financial stress and emotional disconnection. After facing the possibility of divorce, Susan made a commitment to reviving their sex life while also addressing her reservations about their financial stability. Through a financial disaster and downsizing, Susan and her husband realized the importance of being a supportive team and filling in each other’s weaknesses with their strengths.
Mark, who had been in a relationship for eight years, shares how his sex life took a nosedive after he left the Army, leading to feelings of resentment, rejection, and decreased self-confidence. His partner’s stress and birth control issues contributed to a lack of desire for sex, causing them to drift apart emotionally. However, a candid conversation about their fears and concerns helped them understand each other better and improve their communication. While their sex life has not yet returned to normal, their relationship has significantly improved as they work towards rebuilding their intimacy.
Overall, these personal accounts shed light on the complexities of sexless relationships and the various factors that can contribute to a lack of intimacy. From scheduling sex to addressing underlying issues and improving communication, these couples offer insights into how they navigated their challenges and worked towards rekindling their physical connection. Through honesty, understanding, and a willingness to address their feelings and concerns, these couples were able to overcome the stigma and taboo surrounding sexless marriages and rebuild their intimate relationships.
