Nicola Prentis, a single mom to two sons, found herself to be judgmental towards single dads when she started dating. She struggled to connect with men who had children, feeling resentment due to her own past experiences with her ex-husband. The author realized that she couldn’t see beyond her own fears and insecurities when it came to dating single dads, leading her to only seek out non-fathers for relationships.
She decided to stop using dating apps and only date men she already knew. This approach made dating easier for her as she only had time to date when her children were with their father. She made it a point not to mention her kids on dating apps initially, but found that it was uncomfortable to leave out such an important part of her life. Dating men without children proved to be less complicated for her, as some men had a better understanding and respect for her situation as a single mom.
In the five years since becoming single, the author found that about a third of the men she was interested in were single dads, while two-thirds were not. After deleting dating apps, she now only dates men she is already friends with, even if they live in other countries. She prefers to keep the romantic side of things for her off-duty days, as she values simplicity in her dating life amidst the complexities of single motherhood.
Dating non-fathers has allowed the author to have a more carefree approach to relationships, free from the constant issues and tensions that can come from having an ex who remains present in her life. She appreciates the casual nature of relationships with non-fathers, as they are often busy with travel, hobbies, and friends. This less intense dynamic suits her better at this point in her life, as motherhood demands a lot of her time and attention.
Overall, the author prefers to keep her dating life simple and uncomplicated. She acknowledges the complexities of single motherhood and values the simplicity of relationships with men who do not have children. By dating men she already knows, she is able to navigate the challenges of dating as a single parent while prioritizing her own needs and those of her children.
