Passover has always held a special place in the author’s heart, despite not having celebrated it in their youth. Since college, they have come together with friends to partake in the traditional Passover rituals, with a modern twist. However, the author’s observance of Passover took on a new meaning during the 2020 presidential race when Bernie Sanders, a Jewish candidate, dropped out. This led the author to reflect on the significance of having someone in the White House who shares in these ancient traditions.
As the author grew older and made more Jewish friends, they began to understand the importance of keeping kosher during the eight nights of Passover. The restriction on leavened bread meant giving up foods like pasta, cereal, and cookies, which triggered memories of body image issues and diet culture from their past. The author recalls the frustration felt by chef Gabrielle Hamilton when she encountered young girls already obsessed with avoiding bread, highlighting the damaging impact of restrictive eating habits at a young age.
Despite their anxious tendencies to confirm observance of Jewish holidays, the author’s battle with binge eating disorder made the idea of restricting certain foods for spiritual reasons a triggering prospect. However, this year marked a shift in the author’s relationship with their faith, particularly in light of the Israel-Hamas conflict. The violence in Gaza has deepened the author’s connection to their Jewish faith and inspired them to embrace traditions and customs as a way to stay connected to their roots and honor the struggles of the past while working towards a liberated future.
The author realizes that their connection to Judaism cannot be solely cultural and decides to immerse themselves more deeply in the faith, including observing customs that have been passed down through generations. Embracing practices like fasting and keeping kosher on specific holidays becomes a way for the author to anchor themselves in the rich history and values of Judaism. By actively engaging with their faith in this way, the author seeks to embody the principles of learning from the past while striving for a more just and equitable future.
The intersection of faith and food becomes a source of inner conflict for the author, who has long struggled with disordered eating patterns. The allure of restriction and the associated pressures to conform to societal ideals of thinness clash with the spiritual significance of Passover and the desire to honor traditions. The author grapples with the complexity of navigating their relationship with food and their faith, recognizing the potential triggers and pitfalls that come with attempting to strictly adhere to dietary guidelines.
Through their journey of reconciling their Jewish identity with their history of disordered eating, the author finds a renewed sense of purpose and connection to their faith. By embracing the traditions and customs of Passover with a deeper understanding of their cultural and spiritual significance, the author discovers a path towards inclusivity and self-acceptance. The author’s evolving relationship with Judaism serves as a beacon of hope and resilience, highlighting the power of faith to guide individuals through challenges and inspire personal growth.
