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Don’t make a meal out of it
Not easy to cook that traditional holiday dinner. Thanksgiving is muddled.
Massachusetts takes credit for Thanksgiving. Pilgrims, the first feast, was 1621. OK, mazel tov. But Virginia gets cranky because it got settled even 20 minutes earlier.
Also St. Augustine, Fla., because they were our first arrivals. So who knows, maybe the Floridians rode in on a delivery bike.
Pilgrims and Puritans didn’t care about second helpings of sweet potatoes with burnt marshmallows on top. Weren’t even interested in Black Friday sales. They didn’t know from congestion pricing. They came to the New World for religious reasons.
Despite other things on his mind, Lincoln’s the one who started it as an official holiday.
However, George Washington in 1789 — here in New York City — issued a proclamation for it. But it didn’t take hold till Lincoln did it officially to unify the country in 1863.
Talk about turkeys, they could also pardon Hunter Biden that way. His father could just stuff him with breadcrumbs.
Carve out some time for history
Historian Ryan Walters on how Native American communities feel about Thanksgiving said:
“There’s different versions. You can go down a rabbit hole following them all. Some like it, some don’t. Seminoles do, some Lakotas don’t. Some think it’s a good idea, some think it’s celebrating genocide.”
Here we are hundreds of years later — still fighting.
“In the early 17th century, in this new land, the colonists had no idea what they were doing. Many died. Friendly Native Americans helped them. Showed them how to plant, rotate fields. Indians were superb agriculturists. Virginia even had what’s called ‘Starving Time.’ And ended up fighting. And we’ve had that history for the next 200-plus years.”
And that was long before Pelosi, Obama, Joe and Jill, and Bernie Sanders the spitter. Also before many chosen leaders either went to jail or certain mattresses.
Some of our big-time pols, even before hiring divorce lawyers or criminal attorneys, were reared in tough neighborhoods. Every block had its own coroner.
Burn notice
Listen, cooking that old bird myself once was gross and grease. Every time I closed the oven door it blew out the pilot light.
The thing survived. I have word it’s the new mayor of UpYourFeathers, Idaho. His next job is running Kamala’s next campaign for Speaker of the House. Her house.
I understand that the holiday feast will be celebrated at Hunter’s home. And he was lucky to get his personal chef.
They almost didn’t get him. Just at the last minute he made bail. One of Mayor Adams’ commissioners vouched for him. And New Jersey’s Sen. Menendez helped stuff him.
Coffee talk
Not that long ago, 13 employees at a Los Angeles Starbucks shared $87 million from a lottery jackpot.
I mean, ask yourself, where else but in our great beloved free democratic love-thy-neighbor one for all and all for riots America?
One week you’re working at Starbucks and the next week you can afford to buy their coffee.
Meanwhile, a question. Why is it always considered a Tom Turkey. Why never a Theresa?
I’m taking off the holiday. If the editors let me, see you next week.
