A surprising array of rights and benefits accrue to married couples in the U.S., including health care and health insurance, tax breaks, housing, and citizenship. Yet less than 18% of American adults today actually fit the mold of being in their first marriage living in a nuclear family with kids. Ashoka’s Irene Milleiro caught up with Diana Adams, founder of the Chosen Family Law Center in New York City, to learn more. Diana has been passionate about redefining the legal definition of family to support queer families and expand the options available beyond traditional marriage.
Marriage in the United States comes with over a thousand different rights and responsibilities under the law, providing incentives for couples to enter into this institution. However, with only a small percentage of American adults fitting the traditional marital status, there is a need to update laws to reflect the diverse family structures that exist. Diana believes that family choice can actually strengthen marriages, as allowing individuals to decide how they want to have mutual support rather than defaulting to marriage can lead to greater stability and fulfillment.
Diana has observed a rising trend in platonic co-parenting, where individuals choose to co-parent with someone who is not a romantic partner, such as a sibling or lifelong friend. She has also worked on creating collective housing and childcare cooperatives for single mothers and other individuals who may not live with a romantic partner. By expanding the definition of family beyond romantic couples, individuals can form extended care networks within households that provide mutual support and care.
The Chosen Family Law Center, established by Diana in 2017, has been working on advancing legislation in New York to include multi-partner configurations and protect the privacy of those who receive a legal name change as a transgender person. By advocating for laws that support a wider array of family options and care configurations, Diana aims to challenge the existing norms and promote inclusivity for all individuals, regardless of their family structure.
One of the legislative pushes by the Chosen Family Law Center is around family status non-discrimination, aiming to address zoning laws that restrict living arrangements to traditional couples. By advocating for laws that reflect the reality that the majority of Americans are in non-traditional family structures, Diana hopes to create more awareness and acceptance of diverse family situations. She emphasizes that stability for children can be provided by various parental figures beyond the traditional married mother and father, and that different family configurations can be equally nurturing and supportive for children.
Diana encourages individuals to be more mindful of the circumstances of those around them and to support policies that reflect the diversity of family structures and care options. By normalizing a wider array of family situations and care structures, society can create a more inclusive and supportive environment for all individuals. Ultimately, the goal is to unbundle rights from marriage and ensure that all citizens have access to essential benefits and support, regardless of their marital status or family configuration.
