Rising parental anxiety is leading to an increase in what is being referred to as “next-level helicopter parents” for college students. Many parents are more anxious and intrusive than ever, tracking their kids via apps and attempting to connect with professors. This behavior can create harm in the long run, as it prevents young adults from developing independence and resilience. An example is given of a student at Yale whose parents were constantly monitoring her location and setting rules for her bedtime, causing anxiety and depression in the student. This overbearing behavior is often rooted in parental anxiety and a strong emotional attachment to their child.
Psychotherapist Jonathan Alpert suggests that parents strike a balance between showing concern for their child’s well-being while also allowing them the space to grow as independent adults. The use of apps to track children gives parents a sense of control and reassurance, but can ultimately hinder the young adult’s ability to develop autonomy. Psychologist Jennifer L. Hartstein notes that parents’ anxiety can often lead them to swoop in and try to solve every problem for their college-aged child. However, this only serves to prevent growth, learning, and resilience in the young person. Instead, parents should focus on guiding and teaching their children rather than doing things for them.
Some parents have been engaging in helicopter parenting for years, stepping in to smooth the way and prevent their children from experiencing failure. This behavior is often driven by the parent’s need to see their child succeed as a reflection of their vigilant parenting. However, this overbearing approach is not setting children up for success into adulthood. Dr. Gail Saltz explains that independent, functioning adults are those who have confidence in their own ability to manage life, learn from mistakes, and gain academic confidence. Parent-made realities, such as tracking their child’s every move and editing their homework, hinder this development.
The transition to college can be a difficult time for both parents and students. Parents need to understand that sending their child off to college is a sign that they have done everything right in raising them. Trust in the preparation you have given your child and their ability to handle the challenges ahead is important. An anxious parent should seek support from other parents going through the same experience and work on managing their emotions. Dr. Alpert stresses the importance of reframing the situation as progress and accomplishment, rather than loss. This will help the child feel empowered to experience autonomy and navigate college life successfully.
Overall, the rise in parental anxiety is leading to an increase in helicopter parenting behaviors, which can ultimately harm the development of young adults. Parents need to strike a balance between caring for their child’s well-being and allowing them to grow as independent individuals. Overbearing parenting can prevent children from learning important life skills and gaining confidence in their own abilities. It is important for parents to seek support from others going through the same transition and focus on managing their own emotions to support their child effectively. Ultimately, sending a child off to college is a positive sign of accomplishment and trust in their abilities to navigate the challenges ahead.
