For those who are interested in exploring BDSM or kink but may not see much representation of their desires in their daily lives, there are a plethora of resources available. It is important to note that there are as many different styles of BDSM as there are people, and sexuality can be just as varied and adaptable as other interests. The author emphasizes the importance of seeking out podcasts, books, fiction, and nonfiction about sexuality to gain a better understanding and appreciation of one’s desires. Additionally, it is crucial to be open-minded, curious, and persistent in exploring different resources until finding what resonates.
The author discusses how societal norms, particularly within institutions such as religion and mental health, have created a binary of normal and abnormal that can be restricting for individuals who want to explore their desires. It is important to break free from these constraints and embrace one’s sexuality in their own way. The author encourages individuals to have experiences, make mistakes, and build resilience, as these are valuable learning opportunities. It is also crucial to have open conversations with friends about sexuality, as having a support system can greatly enhance one’s exploration and understanding of their desires.
One key piece of advice the author offers is to become the friend who initiates conversations about sexuality with platonic friends, as this can lead to a greater sense of understanding and acceptance among peers. By talking about what feels pleasurable, weird, great, or uncomfortable, individuals can check in with each other and offer support. Additionally, the author recommends resources such as 7 Days of Domination and Kink Academy, which provide online fetish education created by sex workers. Other resources like Kink Out and Hacking//Hustling offer political, artistic, and community-building support for those interested in exploring BDSM or kink.
Overall, the author stresses the importance of being proactive in exploring one’s desires and seeking out resources for support and education. By being open-minded, curious, and willing to make mistakes, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of their own sexuality. Additionally, having open conversations with friends and seeking out online resources can provide valuable support and guidance in exploring BDSM or kink interests. Ultimately, it is about embracing one’s desires and preferences in a way that feels authentic and fulfilling.
