Lisa Pontius, a 36-year-old millennial mom-of-three, recently shared a story online about how her children reacted when they found out how she was punished as a kid. She told her 9-year-old daughter about the time-outs, soap on the tongue, and chili peppers she faced as punishments, and her daughter was shocked and grateful that such methods weren’t used in their home. According to a 2023 study of 1,000 millennial parents, 88 percent say their current parenting style is different from how they were raised, emphasizing the importance of evolving parenting practices.
Pontius highlighted the importance of rewriting her brain and adapting her parenting methods over time, striving for patience and logical reactions with her children. She emphasized the importance of being human and not being too proud to apologize when needed. Pontius shared that she has managed to increase her patience and react more logically to her children, even though it still drives her nuts internally at times. Her approach involves setting boundaries, following through with consequences that make sense, and open communication with her kids to explain the rules and listen to their perspectives.
Many parents on TikTok resonated with Pontius’ story, sharing their own childhood experiences of harsh punishments like being hit with a belt, facing unreasonable consequences for talking back, or receiving validation from their parents for their own parenting methods. Pontius’ video received over 59,000 likes and more than 2,000 comments, with many parents supporting the idea of gentle parenting and avoiding fear or pain as disciplinary measures. Pontius stressed the importance of respectful parenting, which involves patience, reasoning, emotional regulation, and apologizing to children when necessary.
In the video, Pontius talked about how her daughter questioned the reasons behind her parents’ harsh punishments, realizing they wanted to cause her suffering as a form of punishment. She mentioned that 74 percent of millennial parents embrace gentle parenting, which focuses on guiding children through decision-making without resorting to threats or punishment. This approach emphasizes a collaborative relationship between parents and children, prioritizing communication, empathy, respect, and clear boundaries. Pontius’s journey of transitioning from harsh punishment to gentle parenting serves as an example of how parents can evolve their approaches to discipline and create a more positive and respectful environment for their children.
Pontius’s story sheds light on the importance of reflective parenting practices and the impact of childhood experiences on parenting styles. By sharing her experiences and journey towards gentle parenting, Pontius encourages other parents to reconsider punitive methods and prioritize open communication, empathy, and respect with their children. The broader discussion around parenting methods on platforms like TikTok reflects a shift towards more empathetic and collaborative approaches to discipline, emphasizing the need for continuous learning and growth as parents. Newsweek’s commitment to exploring diverse perspectives and challenging conventional wisdom in the realm of parenting contributes to a more nuanced understanding of effective parenting practices in today’s society.
