The holiday season is a time when families gather to celebrate, but sometimes unintentional comments from grandparents can make grandchildren feel uncomfortable or insecure. Pediatric psychologist Ann-Louise Lockhart emphasizes the importance of being mindful of how we communicate with grandkids not only during the holidays, but all year round. She suggests being intentional with words, as they can impact how grandkids think and feel about themselves and their relationship with their grandparents. Experts recommend avoiding certain phrases that may be potentially harmful to grandchildren.
Encouraging grandchildren to keep secrets from their parents can be harmful, as it undermines parental authority and can have long-term consequences. Clinical psychologist Zainab Delawalla advises reinforcing the importance of honesty with parents. Comments about a child’s body or weight can contribute to body image and self-esteem issues, so it is best to avoid making such remarks. Psychotherapist Andrea Dorn suggests focusing on internal traits rather than physical appearance when interacting with grandkids.
Comments about a child’s food intake can lead to issues with eating behavior or body image. Dorn recommends modeling good eating habits rather than making comments about what a child is or isn’t eating. When grandchildren act out during the holiday season, it is important to consider the parenting style they have experienced. Clinical psychologist Ryan Howes emphasizes the need to address parenting concerns with parents rather than criticizing grandchildren.
Respecting a child’s autonomy when it comes to physical affection is crucial. Dorn advises asking permission before giving hugs or kisses and accepting a child’s choice if they say no. It is important to reinforce the idea that physical affection is a personal choice and promote healthy boundaries and consent. Additionally, it is essential to avoid negative comments about a grandchild’s parents or parenting choices, as this can be harmful to the child’s relationship with their parents. Any concerns about parenting should be addressed with the parents directly rather than involving the grandchildren.
Overall, being mindful of the way we communicate with our grandchildren can help foster positive and healthy relationships. It is never too late to start being more intentional with words and actions when interacting with grandchildren. Encouraging honesty, focusing on internal traits rather than physical appearance, modeling good habits, respecting autonomy around physical affection, and avoiding negative comments about parents’ choices are all important aspects of positive grandparenting. By being mindful and thoughtful in our interactions, we can create a loving and supportive environment for our grandchildren all year round.
