On first dates, many people ask inappropriate questions, such as those related to money. Dating expert Kelsey Wonderlin notes that finances are an important factor in compatibility, and many singles want to know upfront if a potential match has similar spending and saving habits. Some singles, especially women in finance, are looking for someone who can keep up with their lifestyle. While some people can subtly ask about money, others may be more direct and ask about your salary. If you are uncomfortable answering, there are ways to respond without feeling pressured.
Etiquette dictates that questions about finances on a first date are unacceptable, according to dating expert Rachel DeAlto. However, it is also important to acknowledge that money does play a role in relationships. If two people have different spending habits, there may be a lifestyle mismatch that needs to be addressed. While you are not obligated to reveal your salary, giving a vague response is acceptable, especially in the early stages of dating. It is not necessary to engage in detailed money conversations if you are casually dating, but you can respond in a way that maintains your privacy while also acknowledging the question.
DeAlto suggests that your date may be trying to gauge your dating expectations based on the current economic environment when asking about money. Instead of feeling pressured to reveal specifics about your salary, you can respond with general statements such as “I make a living wage” or “My salary is pretty average.” By redirecting the conversation and asking questions of your own, you can maintain control over the discussion. Wonderlin also recommends turning the question around and using it as an opportunity to learn more about your date, saying that you are not comfortable sharing that information at the moment but asking why it is important to them.
Ultimately, if you are comfortable sharing your salary and do not find the question off-putting, it may be a sign that you are on a date with someone who is a good fit for you. Money conversations can be tricky to navigate, but it is important to set boundaries and communicate openly about your comfort level. By responding confidently and redirecting the conversation if necessary, you can ensure that the discussion stays respectful and productive. Whether you choose to share details about your finances or keep them private, it is important to prioritize your own comfort and boundaries in any dating situation.
