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Ain’t too much sadder than tears for the clout.
The generation that bought us the mental health buzzwords “delulu” [delusional] and “menty b” [mental breakdown] is used to seeing the tears of their stressed-out peers, even stars like Bella Hadid and Justin Bieber, on social media — boldly, for the whole world to see.
While followers and friends flock to their support with praise for their brave display of vulnerability, others dismiss the tearful spectacle as “cringe” pleas for attention.
Amie McNee, a writer and creative coach — who previously posted a public crying video herself — spoke to CNN about why crying online can be so cathartic.
“It’s almost like sex,” said McNee. “It’s really private, and the public culture doesn’t want to look at you when you do it.”
McNee, 32, was hoping to find a community online that would relate to her experiences in her writing career as an aspiring author and the rejection she had faced. She shared everything on social media, including the tears.
“I wanted to be witnessed in pain,” she explained, noting that she didn’t reach for her phone simply because she felt like she was going to cry, but rather she wanted to be seen and supported by her followers.
Some people cry online to satisfy emotional needs that aren’t being met and to cope with a lack of a support system in real life. For example, Tristan Blackwood told the outlet that he struggled to make friends as a teenager and would share TikToks of him crying while he vented.
“I just wanted to be validated,” he admitted. “(I was thinking) someone, please see me. I need help.”
While some claim they’re not looking for attention, others admit that tears drive traffic and engagement.
“It kind of gave me my entire social media career,” Emmy Hartman told CNN about a video of hers that went viral in 2017 when she shared a rollercoaster of her 17-year-old emotions in a two-minute clip.
“Now you’ve got crying and tears as a way of generating engagement, views, likes, clicks and helping to build your brand,” Ysabel Gerrard, a senior lecturer in digital media and society at the University of Sheffield, England, added.
“It’s monetizable in a way that it literally never has been in society.”
As viewers, however, it’s hard to tell what is authentic and what’s just a show — and Jess Rauchberg, a researcher who studies digital cultures and social media, said it’s important to take note of who is posting the teary video and what it serves them by posting it.
“There are moments where we do need to ask ourselves: Is this authentic? Is this credible? And what does this crying post serve?” she said.
“If every form of communication, even face to face without smartphones, is a performance of the self … and you’re putting a particularly crafted version of yourself forward, can a crying video ever truly be authentic?”
