This week, the Presbyterian Church in America is holding its annual General Assembly in Richmond, Va. The author, who was part of the denomination for over 15 years, was recently canceled from speaking at the event due to being considered too divisive and polarizing. Originally scheduled to discuss dealing with toxic polarization, the author faced intense online and real-life attacks once his participation was announced. The panel he was on was ultimately canceled as a result. The church organizers cited concerns about peace and unity within the church as reasons for his exclusion.

The author’s family joined the P.C.A. denomination in 2004 and found a community that fit them well at first. However, two significant events changed their perception of the church. Firstly, they adopted a 2-year-old girl from Ethiopia in 2010, and secondly, the rise of Donald Trump’s presidential campaign in 2015. As a conservative, the author found it challenging to support Trump due to his perceived lack of character and the rise of extremism and malice in the Republican party. The author faced backlash from the alt-right for his critical views of Trump, leading to disturbing attacks targeting his family.

The author experienced racism and hatred from within his church community, including racially insensitive remarks from fellow church members and teachers at the church school. Additionally, the denomination revealed elements of authoritarian Christian nationalism that were previously invisible to the author and his family. Despite support from some church members and leaders, the negative experiences eventually led the author and his family to leave the denomination for a welcoming multiethnic church in Nashville. The targeting of his children was a significant factor in their decision to leave.

Despite leaving the Presbyterian Church in America, the author was invited to speak at this year’s General Assembly on a panel discussing how to support pastors and church leaders in a polarized political year. The invitation was controversial, with continued attacks from members of the denomination online. The author’s commitment to defending the civil liberties of all Americans, regardless of his disagreements with them, led to backlash from some Republican evangelicals. However, the panel was ultimately canceled, with the author being blamed for his exclusion due to concerns about peace and unity in the church.

The author reflects on his decision to leave the Republican Party and his belief that a shared faith would preserve his denominational home, only to find race and politics trumping truth and grace. Despite his hope for a welcoming community within the church, he now finds himself unwelcome in a space he once loved. The author emphasizes the importance of not allowing extremists to dictate the discourse within the church and calls for a reevaluation of the false peace and unity based on the exclusion of dissenting voices.

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