DEAR ABBY: A woman writes to Dear Abby, revealing that her husband had an affair with an old school sweetheart for two years. When she confronted both of them, the other woman revealed that the affair had actually been going on for 20 years. The husband had also had a one-night affair with someone from work. The woman struggles with feelings of betrayal and hurt, as her husband neglected their relationship and lied about his infidelities. Despite going to counseling, she finds it hard to trust him again after everything that has happened.
DEAR ABBY: The woman is advised by Abby to seek support from a licensed mental health professional, as well as from her friends and family. Abby points out that a marriage without trust is not really a marriage at all, and suggests that separating from her husband may actually improve her situation. The woman is encouraged to prioritize her own well-being and understand that she has already been emotionally alone for a long time.
DEAR ABBY: Another person writes to Abby, sharing her struggle with having miscarried five times in the past four years with her partner. The couple feels heartbroken, defeated, overwhelmed, and exhausted, both emotionally, physically, and financially. They do not feel supported by their families, who offer sympathy initially but do not fully understand the depth of their grief and pain. The couple is also expected to attend family gatherings and holidays, despite not always feeling up to it.
DEAR ABBY: The person wonders if it is wrong to distance themselves from family gatherings in order to cope with their grief over the miscarriages. Abby advises that it is not wrong to prioritize their emotional well-being and skip events if needed. She suggests communicating with the host about their feelings and the importance of taking time to heal and process their loss, without feeling pressured to attend social gatherings before they are ready.
DEAR ABBY: The letter writer is advised to be gentle with themselves and take the time they need to heal from their losses. Abby emphasizes that grief does not have a set timetable and that it is important for the couple to prioritize their mental and emotional health during this challenging time. The importance of open communication with family members about their needs and boundaries is also highlighted as a way to navigate their grief and relationship with others.
DEAR ABBY: In closing, Abby encourages the letter writer to reach out for support from those who understand and validate their feelings, and reminds them that they are not alone in their struggles. The importance of self-care and setting boundaries with family members is emphasized, as the couple navigates the emotional toll of multiple miscarriages and the lack of understanding from their loved ones.
